1."Ill have to report you, sir," said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour." "Nonsense, officer," declared the driver. "Ive only been in the car for ten minutes." 2."Now as I understand it, Sir," said the police officer to the motorist, "you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened?""Im afraid not, officer," replied the motorist. "I had my eyes shut!" 3."When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.""Youre wrong, officer, its only my hat that makes me look that old." 4. Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spotted hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money?- ???- Stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman dont exist. 5.A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldnt find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. Itll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"The blonde replied, "Dont worry, officer, it wont be long now. The 45th bus just went by!" 6.A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what theyve done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the officer. "Youre so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didnt even notice that your left arm was ripped off!""Oh no!", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was."Wheres my Rolex???!!!"